西方人怎么‘整容’?《西游札记》,王露露,荷兰, How do westerners make themselves look nicer?

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‘荷兰乃欧洲之缩影, 欧洲即西方之缩影。游荷兰,览西方’

荷兰人管‘整容’叫‘整形手术’。 谁热衷这种手术呢?有两种女人,外加一种男女不限。

名流
一种女人是四十到七十岁的影视明星、社会名流、媒体红人。为了防止自己的知名度下滑,她们拉皮打针抽脂等。 荷兰的影视明星的艺术寿命比中国长。 就拿荷兰当红的电视节目主持人来说吧,他奔六十了,脸上的皱纹跟条条大河似的,又宽又长,深不见底,一笑起来,河流改道,皱纹泛滥,满目沧桑。但荷兰的男女老少,尤其是女性,趋之若鹜。他的近照一在荷兰的妇女杂志上刊登出来,女性读者就恨不得把它给撕下来挂在床头,每晚看着他入睡,每早被他唤醒。荷兰的邻国比利时也不例外,电视黄金段的新闻联播几十年如一日,永远是一位女节目主持人的面孔。电视观众从她面如桃花看到她满脸褶子,不弃不离,一往情深。这些名人如果拉拉皮,打打针,抽抽脂,还能顶一阵子的呛。

阔太太
第二种是四十到七十岁的阔太太。为了防止自己的丈夫在外面勾搭荷兰文叫‘太太的年轻版’,她们把整形当作救命稻草。‘太太的年轻版’是怎么一回事呢?据调查,荷兰阔佬们吃碗里的看锅里的时候,大多在锅里寻找长得和自己的原配年轻时一模一样的女子。可见荷兰人的品牌意识有多强,就连喜新厌旧的男人都忠实于自己一贯使用的品牌和款式,换汤不换药,只是型号新一点,性能好一点而已。

保证视线
第三种人是六十岁以上的男女不限。也许您看过一个讲述世界级船王生平的故事片。船王年轻时叱咤风云,但年迈后面部肌肉松弛,眼皮耷拉下来,遮住了他的眼珠。护理他的人每天清晨都用塑料胶带把他的眼皮提上去贴在脑门上,这样他就又能放眼世界了。可惜当时尚无如今的高精尖整形手术,否则船王将第一个接受治疗。当下的荷兰老人,如果眼皮松弛,挡住了视线,就可以让整形医生把眼皮给切掉一截子,还能让医疗保险公司报销。

动剪子
荷兰为什么叫‘整型手术’而不叫‘整容’呢?这一点我也纳闷良久,直到我在一本荷兰妇女杂志上读了一篇文章,才拨开了云雾,重见了光明。文章以商量的口吻写道,修剪自家花园的草木,尚情有可原,但要是把自家花园的台阶也给掀了,工程是否大了点?作者不愧为文章老手,她用诗一样的语言描述两种不言而喻的整形手术。她用‘修剪花园’暗指女人把体毛剃光,只留出一条杠杠,荷兰话叫‘希特勒的小胡子’; 她用‘把花园的台阶也给掀了’暗指认为自己的玫瑰花瓣太长的女人们请整形医生把那花瓣给切掉一段。这两种整形方法自本世纪初进入了欧洲人的视野,那篇文章的作者认为,第一种不大碍事,操作简单,可第二种工程庞大,劳民伤财。可见中国所说的‘整容’(修整面容)不适合于荷兰的实际情况,也难怪荷兰称其为‘整形’(整理形体)。

连环套
一个月后,下一期的荷兰妇女杂志刊登了一封读者来信。来信指出,那篇文章的作者没说到点子上。一环扣一环。 剪短自家花园的草木必定导致风吹草低见牛羊,所以玫瑰花瓣才显得太长。要想规劝妇女不去接受工程庞大、劳民伤财的手术来切短花瓣,就应将问题连根拔起,建议妇女首先别剪短自家花园的草木。

易上瘾
现在咱们中国国内,不少明星请医生证明自家的清白 – 本人天生丽质,乃爹妈给的原装正牌货,绝非整形医生靠刀工绝活鼓捣出来的山寨品。明眼人一看就知道,前世修来的端庄秀美和今世整出来的有天壤之别。整容本来就是天知地知,你知我知的事(当然了,整容医院也知)。明星的清白岂是一张医生证明便能搞定的?鉴于荷兰‘改造花园’等整形项目,国内明星的整容尚有宽广的发展余地,而到那时,怎么让医生开证明?向谁证明?证明那个有啥用?另外,整了这里的型,导致比例失调,那里就显得不对称,又整那里,进入连环套模式,何时是个头?难怪听内行人说,整容犹如打麻将,上瘾。明星本来只需让医生证明自己没整容就万事大吉了,这样下去还得让医生证明自己不是瘾君子。这可咋整?

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Whisper of the Yin and Yang Fish, Lulu Wang’s speech op TedX Maastricht2015 (Due to Lulu’s flu, she couldn’t go to Maastricht to give the speech)

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Chinese call this Yin and Yang Symbol the Yin and Yang Fish. Why? Have you ever had a heavy rain in your hometown? If yes, you may have noticed that after your street was flooded due to a heavy rain for a few days, you can go and fish on your own street. Fish babies are everywhere in the world, even in our very house, I suppose. If there is bit water, the fish babies would come to alive. We can almost say that fish never really dies. Fish symbolizes eternity. In the Yin and Yang Symbol hides the wisdom that helped the Chinese civilization, just like fish, survive the sharp jaws of time. One essential aspect of the wisdom is balance.

Balance and Eternity

More than two thousand years ago there was in China a great Taoist philosopher called Zhuangzi. When his beloved wife died, he laughed and made music by drumming at his cooking pan. When asked why, he said that he was celebrating a transition. His wife didn’t really die. She only changed her form of existence, just like the four seasons. When spring dies, winter gets born, a sign that the nature as a whole is still alive. Immortality wouldn’t be complete if it only consists of life. Death has an equal share of eternity as life.

Balance and Wholeness

By regarding death as another form of existence, Chinese is freed from the fear of death. However, Chinese as individuals die too, just as Westerners. How can they be freed from the fear of death? If we see a living person as the white part of the Fish and a dead body as the black part, what else do we see? We see the whole Fish. It stands for the whole country of China. No civil war, no invasion, no plague, no earthquake, no flood, no nuclear weapon, nothing can erase every single soul of a country from the world atlas. As long as two persons manage to survive – preferably a man and a woman, life goes on. Immortality can only be reached if we look beyond individuals and see the collectivity of which individuals are part of – that Chinese are collective-minded has deeper reasons than that they think together we are stronger.

Balance and Modesty

People in the west often wonder why the Chinese communities abroad are so invisible. As new comers in the west, the Chinese have to cope with assimilation problems and endure hardships, but they never grudge, nor get themselves in trouble with their hosting country. Just like fish babies, they become invisible when the circumstances get harsh. As soon as they see a chance, they show up and earn a living again. However, they take care that they never get too visible and they are at every moment ready to resume their invisibility. Because the Yin and Yang Fish whispers to them that the best proportion in life is 50% black and 50% white. The world population consists 50% of men and 50% of women. A day consists half of the day and half of the night. Therefore the visibility of overseas Chinese in their hosting country should be 50%. By being modest, not only the Chinese in their homeland but also in foreign countries succeed to survive and even flourish. No wonder that there are 1.3 billion Chinese inside and about 50 million people of Chinese origin outside China.

Balance and Half Efficiency

I have lived twelve year in the beautiful Dutch city of Maastricht. About two thousand years ago the Roman soldiers stationed in this Dutch city could receive within a week a letter from their parents back in their hometown. At that time there was no plane, no train, no car, no telegram or Wi-Fi. How efficient should the Romans be to realize the post at that speed? From this we can see that the Roman Empire was extremely powerful and well-organized, but even though it couldn’t escape the fate of decay. How does the Yin and Yang Fish explain this short lived luck? If we regard the white part of the Yin and Yang Fish as success and the black part as failure, what else do we see? The whole Fish. That is life at its best. In order to live a longer life, we should be half success and half flop. If we want an extra portion of success, we have to pay for it with our early decay.

Balance and Peace

When we look at China’s thousands of years of history, we see that Chinese invented lots of methods and machineries to increase their productivity, but they didn’t show an incessant urge to develop new technologies for a faster and bigger production. They were quickly satisfied with what they made and what they had. Due to their contentedness, they didn’t have to exhaust their natural resources to get more and more, bigger and bigger, better and better, nor did they have to go abroad to exhaust the natural resources of foreign countries for more and more, bigger and bigger, better and better. So they didn’t have to destroy their own nature, nor did they have to make enemies with foreign countries by exploiting the people and exhausting the nature there. In this way they didn’t have to get involved in ongoing wars with foreign countries that refused to get exploited. As we know, no matter how powerful a country is, if it non-stop tries to conquer foreign countries, it shall sooner or later get itself in conflict with others, which shall finally lead to its decay.

Balance and Survival

Why does the Yin and Yang Fish teach us to be satisfied with half efficiency? Is high efficiency not desirable? The point is, the faster and the more we produce and possess, the greedier we get. Greed ruins our natural resources and those of foreign countries. Greed seduces us to repress the people of our own country and that of foreign countries. Greed consumes our energy without charging it. We become weaker and weaker. Before we know, we are taken over by a stronger country. Chinese followed the advice of the Yin and Yang Fish and their civilization has escaped the sharp jaws of time. If China shall go on following this advice of their ancestors, I can’t tell, since I am not a fortune teller.

Half alive and half dead, half arrogant and half humble, half success and half flop, half efficient and half worthless, this balance may not lead to a mega success and a superpower, but it leads to a long life. Laozi, the forefather of Taoism, says, our real happiness is to live long and to see. To see what? To see how superpowers come and go, how mega successes kiss the sky and smash to the ground, while we, thanks to our long life, just sit there and enjoy the show on the stage of the human history.

Conclusion

Most of us have heard of this famous question: Do you want to be right or happy? The question the Yin and Yang Fish whispers to us is: do you want to be very efficient or very alive? No superstar, superman or superpower can be both. No fish can swim out of the circle of the Yin and Yang Balance, which can only be reached by being half white and half black.

©Lulu Wang
The Hague, the Netherlands
23 September 2015

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Foto: Lulu met Jos Netto en Mohamad Garrout, twee prachtige muzici

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